Seriously Baltimore, is it Karma?

Confession.... I disappeared on a guy that I dated a few months ago (which was probably the Karma that stung when the last guy I dated, disappeard on me). Anyway, we met, we went out, I never called. He was hurt. So last night he calls and I'm thinking why the hell are you calling me? He apparently had been in Canton for Sunday Fun Day (which I have never heard of) and figured my house was a good place to end up. We argued on the phone a little about what happened and then I hung up because he was not listening.

Then, while cleaning the toilet (seriously!) it dawned on me, I was a total shit to him (couldn't help the pun). So I answered the next time and told him to come by, he did and that's when I realized that he was obliterated and had driven! I wanted to kill him, but I just took his keys and yelled. So we chatted, as much as you can with a drunk person, and then I did what I wish the last guy would have done for me. I told him the truth. I used him. I was lonely and he was nice to me, we went out and I didn't have a great time but I knew that he did. I knew after the second date that he was not for me and that he liked me way more then I liked him. So what did I do... I never called and then I went out of town. I called when I got back, there was a little miscommunication and then we blew each other off.

So.... I told him that I was the mean one, that I was the chicken, that I was the one who didn't want to deal with the confrontation of telling someone that there is no chemistry, or that he's not what I am looking for. I apologized. It felt good and he deserved the respect of me telling him that I was the jerk. It's funny, at that moment when I was cleaning the toilet it was like a light-bulb, he needed closure and I was the only person who could give it to him. I understood how he felt. God has a sick sense of humor sometimes!

So I made him stay the night on the sofa, and he just said "thanks for being nice to me." I thought... you are a sweet, nice guy you deserve kindness. You deserve to find what you are looking for, I'm just not it. I just thought I needed to show him the kindness I wish that I was shown, and the respect. I dreamt about the guy who blew me off, I dreamt that he found me to apologize, seriously, if only dreams were an indication of what is to come. Again, God has a sense of humor. I guess what I'm saying is, everyone has feelings and the kindest thing that we can do for one another is to have respect for each other.

So what happended to me? I met a guy (that I kinda already knew) we started dating, I went out of town, he went out of town, we kept seeing each other and getting to know each other. We communicated daily and I realized that I actually liked him (it had been a long, long, long, long, long time since I actually liked someone). We were very different but I felt comfortable with him. But then, I acted like a girl, I was excited that I liked him and I told him and I scared him and he disappeared. I've never heard from him again, and I don't plan on getting smashed and showing up at his house. I know that he feels bad and I know that he is a good guy. It still stings, but I'm pretty sure it was my karma.